Single Parents Struggling For Life…

As lone parents, we may experience emotions such as loneliness and isolation. The frustration of being a single parent can create stress and anxiety levels that can be harmful to you and your loved ones, left unchecked this can lead towards emotional meltdown. Use this site learns the art of survival, have your say or tell the rest of us your survival tips.

Few of us actually want to be single parent mums or dads, given the choice I am sure you would much rather be in a deep meaningful, caring relationship. And its because of this, a lot of you, are where you are today. We are encouraged to believe from infancy that we will one day fall in love, get married have kids and live happily ever after. The reality is of course quite different, and many of us are left feeling cheated, hurt, and bitterly disappointed.

Note; a solo voyage is never an easy one, your survival depends heavily on your ability to wave that goodbye to what was. This is by no means an easy task, and many will be tempted to jump ship. I take this opportunity to wish these persons a lot of luck and every success in their old life. Those of you that decide to take that plunge may well find them selves stranded or treading water and will be picked up at our next port of call. Reports of an epidemic of Cabin fever have prompted the captain to suggest all passengers walk the decks at least four times a week.

There are many things that we take for granted, and our well being is one of them, the art of self preservation is all about taking control of our emotions, and deciding for our selves what is best, and that means what’s best for you and your own, it is perhaps a tab selfish, but at this point in time it’s no bad thing. Taking on the role as a single parent also includes the taking care of yourself, this may at first seem easy but in practice it is not, no more do you get that complement, nod of approval or pat on the back. You now have no one to answer to and no one to answer you back. You now have to encourage your own confidence and question your own doubts. This is by no means an easy task and is a constant battle of will, you may well stand as one but within there are two battling the odds on shall I or shall I not, etc. Don’t be afraid to ask others their opinion on important issues, as a one sided argument will only ever gives you the answer that you want to hear, and not necessarily the right one.

Much of what we do in our every day lives, is only possible because we have mastered the art of certain social skills, like communicating, this like any of our skills is only available to us because it has been practiced, and if it has been practiced well, along comes confidence to back it up, and together they make a wining team. However, one doesn’t work very well without the other. So unless the practice is kept up sooner or later one, if not both will simply disappear.

About the Author: If you really want to find out the secrets of which popular dating sites or free personal ads are the most effective to find a gorgeous partner online, then you must read the free articles available at panda dating sites . Read more articles by: Julia Tanner Article Source: www.iSnare.com Article published on April 12, 2007 at iSnare.com

<<Back to Mind

Visualization

If you build it, they will come.” Field of Dreams

Instead of observing a problem that you want changed, imagine the situation or condition as you want it to be. The concept is simple and, fortunately, so is the method. Anyone can do it, anywhere, at any time, and for any duration – with incredible results. Visualization is one of the most powerful methods there are for effecting the changes you desire.

In a very real way your fantasies are your realities – good ones and bad ones, for better and worse. What you imagine is what will be. If you build it, they will come. Fortunately, it’s never too late to imagine something new, even if presently embroiled in circumstances previously imagined.

The process of visualization is simple, and it doesn’t require any esoteric knowledge or complicated accoutrements. If you can find a quiet place to do it, all the better; if you can’t don’t worry about it. Do it on the bus, if you want. If you can arrange to be uninterrupted while you do it, great; if not, it isn’t a problem. You can do it with your eyes closed or open. You can do it sitting, standing, laying down, or out jogging.

All you do is create a visual picture of what you want (NOT what you don’t want). Create a visual picture of the condition, circumstance, or situation as you desire it to be (NOT how it currently, undesirably, is). For best results, once you have a clear mental picture of the ideal you’re creating, be sure to place yourself in the image (if you’re not already). Interact with the elements of this ideal reality you’re visualization into existence.

And that brings us to a trick for boosting the impact of your efforts: Visualization is made exponentially more effective when coupled with positive emotions. That is to say, once you’ve begun visualizing the way you want something to be – whether it’s your physical condition or your life situations – next allow yourself to start feeling the emotions associated with these desired states.

Feel what it’s like to have what you want as though you already had it now – perfect health, that relationship you’ve always wanted, that new car or Tahitian holiday, that better job, the return of something lost or missing, the resolution of a squabble – whatever it is, feel the emotions you know you’ll have when that possibility, whatever it is, becomes your reality.

The visualization is the way to make your request for a particular reality to unfold; the positive emotions you feel about that reality are the way you get yourself in alignment with it occurring for you, the way you allow what you’ve visualized into your present reality.

It’s a three-step process:
  1. Visualize your desire, and be sure to include yourself in it.
  2. Feel how it feels to have that desired reality here and now.
  3. Repeat as desired.

Abraham-Hicks, co-authors of “Ask And It Is Given”, and facilitators of the “Art of Allowing” workshop affirm that if you can focus on a single visual image for 17 seconds straight, you’ve effectively put your request out into the Universe – like giving your lunch order to the waitress at the diner. They further affirm that all it takes is 68 seconds of uninterrupted focus on your desire to get yourself into vibrational alignment with allowing it to happen.

No More Drama!

Don’t let other people bring you down. Easier said than done? Not so. Read on:

You have absolute choice in every moment as to how you respond to any situation. If someone throws their negativity at you (criticizes you, puts you down, taunts you), it is up to you what you do about it. And putting your attention on them – even to show them how bad, wrong, and awful they are for doing what they’re doing to you – is feeding that negative energy, and engaging in a feedback loop that brings increased negativity back on yourself.

As hard as it may, the lesson you learned on the playground still applies today – ignore them. Let it slide. Turn around and walk away. You don’t need to think of the right comeback, or the positive thing to say. Say nothing. It’s hard, but it works. Even if your silence only infuriates the perpetrator of the negativity, that’s over there, that’s them. You can be an oasis of peace even in the presence of choppy, shark infested waters.

You don’t have to diffuse the situation, or correct the other person’s perceptions. You just have to diffuse your own emotional charge about their perceptions. Don’t let yourself be drawn into their charge; that’s giving them way too much power over you.

Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. If someone criticizes you, just remind yourself that it’s their opinion. Everyone’s got one, and everyone’s entitled to theirs. You don’t have to believe them. You only have to believe yours.

Oftentimes (in fact, chances are, more often than not) the negativity we perceive as coming at us from another person was not even intended. We all communicate differently, but we all communicate from the same place – our own individual point of reference, our unique experience and perspective. Most of the time, when someone’s talking to you, they’re not even paying much attention to you at all. They’re stuck inside their own heads (their frame of reference, their unique experiences and perspective), speaking to themselves, and you just happen to be the one present to witness it, the mirror off which they’re bouncing their own reflection. In other words: it’s not about you – even when they say it is.

Let someone have their drama. You don’t have to make it yours. If you can’t tolerate being in the presence of it, remove yourself from its presence. Otherwise, just let it happen like the weather. Cloudy or sunny, your day goes on. Attention is energy. What makes the storms around you linger, what makes them worse, is when you feed them with your attention. Let the storms brewing around you blow over you, and they will blow over.

It’s not complicated. As previously mentioned, these are the same lessons you were taught in the schoolyard. You just didn’t learn them yet. If thinking in this way makes you feel “like a child”, good! Don’t be a child, start taking responsibility for what you let affect you.

The way to free yourself from the adverse affects of other people’s negative energy is to know and love yourself as you are, and to accept other people as they are.

Surrender

In a crisis we don’t have time to think; we’re all emotion and instinct. We are totally and absolutely present. This is why we hear so many stories of people thrust into a sudden emergency achieving incredible feats that seem, by normal human standards, impossible. When we are truly present, we are in direct and unfettered contact with our core essence, the source of all power. And when we are in this state, we can do anything.

Some people, in fact, are only ever present when in the throes of an emergency, which explains why those people seem beset by one crisis after another in their lives: to be present. Thankfully, it doesn’t require a crisis to become fully present, but when those sudden tragedies and other unwanted life situations do invariably occur, the way to free yourself of your pain and suffering, and to transmute the undesirable situation into an opportunity to attract a desirable one, is through presence. And in a negative situation, the way to be present is to surrender.

Now let’s pause a moment to examine that word: ‘surrender’. Does it make you think of ‘giving up’? And if it does, what do you think you’re giving up. Too often we take surrender to mean giving up caring about a situation or giving up trying to make things better. But that’s not surrender.

That’s hopelessness and despair; that’s resignation, abandonment of your purpose in life: to actively participate in the joyous manifestation of your desires. That kind of surrender cuts you off from the well-being that is your natural state (or rather, reinforces and perpetuates the illusion that you’re cut off from it). That kind of surrender is just more pain and suffering.

All pain and suffering is resistance to what is. So to relieve your pain and suffering in any given moment, surrender – or give up – your resistance to what you believe is causing it. You do this in two ways:

1. Accept the situation as it is – that is, acknowledge that this is the situation right now, and you can’t change this current moment; you can only change how you respond to it. And in changing how you respond to this moment, you call to you a new and different moment more in line with this changes you’ve made to yourself in this moment.
2. Allow yourself to feel your emotions and you are instantly taken out of your head, out of your thoughts, and into your body, into the present. When you are present to your emotions, allowing yourself to feel them, you are not conscious of the story behind why you supposedly feel that way; you only feel the way you do. And when you are present to your feelings, the process of their transmutation towards your natural state of peace, has already begun.

Accept and allow. From this place of surrender, of accepting the Now as it is, and allowing yourself to feel your feelings, you can consciously, deliberately choose the thoughts that next occupy your mind. Choose ones that feel good and, through the Law of Attraction, evidence to justify those good feelings will crop up everywhere around you.

The way out is through; and the way through is in. Surrender is not giving up; it is giving in. Accept and allow. Accept and allow.